Friday, January 19, 2007

Where's my aPhone?

Ok, we've seen the razr, the krazr, the proposed iPhone, etc. It's time to announce the "aPhone". A breakthrough in cellular technology brought to you by Adobe. Here are some of the interesting features we are likely to see when the product is released:\
  • Usable with all major cellular networks
  • dual 5.5in touch screens allowing multiple applications to be viewed at the same time.
  • More stylish than an iPhone.
  • Allows you to make phone calls in Dolby 5.1 surround sound.
  • Sound enhanced by THX
  • Dropped calls credit your account for the cost.
  • Uses Flash Lite as the programming environment.
  • open architecture that lets you build whatever applications you want and service them with whatever you want.
  • Touch screens are protected when folded in half.
  • 5TB of mp3 data available.
  • TASP interface lets you plug the phone directly into your head (neurosurgery available for an extra fee).
  • Utilizes high speed networks for internet and media connections.
  • Only costs $1 with a 3 year contract.
  • Above all else, it is A phone.
Ok, so this is a bit facetious, but the more I hear about the iPhone vaporware, the more I think there is an opportunity for somebody to one up them. Why only the one network? Why the low speed data network? Why the completely closed software stack? Why compete directly with the iPod? So many things about the iPhone make me thing that it may not be the next great thing.

Are there any features you'd like to see on the iPhone that are not being delivered?


  1. Hey, we're dreaming here. Lets super size it. :-)

    I want mine to have the Apollo/Flash frameworks.

    Seriously, I've blogged about this myself and asked Adobe to build a device framework to go along with their software framework. Lets keep pestering them. Maybe they'll do it.

  2. I love the supersize idea. Maybe there can be an add on pack that includes one of those giant combs, a giant pair of sunglasses, one of those giant foam "We're #1" hands, and a giant toothbrush. Talk about stylish!

  3. I want a phone that will call my mother/father/grandparents on my behalf and forces me to talk to them as I continue to forget to do that.

    I want a phone that can automatically detect my lazyness on a Friday night and not only rings my local video store to reserve the latest DVD's of my taste, but order my Pizza and Drinks.

    I want a phone that can automatically pesky sales people to leave me alone and that I'm more interested in paying someone to have them run over by a truck then continue to be upsold on stuff I never subscribed to or wanted.

    I want a phone that can keep track of past conversations, so that when a husband has an argument with his wife, it provides the script so that the husband doesn't always get hit with "Last year, ont he 12 Dec you said you hated it when we go to my friends house, but today you say it's different? huh?" - to which you'd reply "Well no actually on the 20th Dec I decided i wasn't the case"....

    Think of the marriages it would save.

    I want a phone that can pay my bills automatically through yes/no confirmation(s).

    That being said, I'll settle for a phone these days that simply allows me to take/recieve calls and syncs with Outlook Contacts :D

  4. Scott, I think you might actually be on to something with that phone that automatically calls your family members. I seem to remember a service where if you called someone and their phone was busy, your phone would continue to monitor them until they were off. Then your phone would call you to let you know you were about to connect and then phone the original person.

    I can't see why that couldn't be hooked up to a calendar.